Tearing Down the House

The wisest of women builds her house, but folly with her own hands tears it down.  Proverbs 14:1

As I read this chapter one morning recently, I began to think, "How do I tear down the house (family) I am trying to build?" There are four areas, for me, that I identified as potential threats to building the kind of house that honors and blesses God and others:

1. Anger.  Those who live with me (and few others, I suspect) are well aware of my propensity to anger, and while "righteous" anger is biblically defensible, mine is not, no matter self-righteous I might feel at the time.  My anger toward those who inconvenience me or thwart my plans injure my relationships with my husband and children, grieve Christ, and threaten to reflect the life of a Christian as that of a hypocrite. And all that - for what? There is no way that I have been offended or put upon that I haven't done to someone else, or more importantly, to God Himself. He has so freely forgiven me, how can I refuse to forgive someone else?
2. Impatience.  When I make a request or give a direction, I want it done yesternow. Again, my need for efficiency and ease turns my home into an army boot camp, not a place where people are cared for and encouraged toward growth in Christ. And while I might defend my impatience with the idea that I'm impatient with the behavior and not the person, it's the person that gets the dubious "benefit" of my ire.
3. Selfishness. It's all about me. You knew that, right? Well, apparently, not everyone does, because some people around here have the audacity to need something from me when it doesn't suit me. Sometimes children injure themselves or get sick when I had important plans. And sometimes, sometimes, someone needs me to get up out of my chair just as soon as I've sat down. Happen to you? Yet when I mistakenly work on the assumption that it's all about me and my plan, I miss opportunities to serve my family and be blessed in serving them. I also miss the blessing of being served by them, since I act as if I already deserve their kindness to me.
4. Pride. Somehow, this seems to be the heart of all the other stuff, the sin from which all the other sins find their beginnings. I think I know the best, or see the issue clearly, or simply shouldn't have to deal with my family's "issues" because I have better or more important things to do. And I forget - this is why I'm here, in this family, with these children. I'm here to bring the truth of the Gospel to bear on my family's life, and I cannot do that if I insist on presuming that I'm above it all.

So, what do I do about all this? How do I continue to pursue wisdom in building this house, rather than giving way to folly? To be sure, I'm still working this and will continue to work on it until Heaven. For now, though, the need for the sturdy disciplines of Bible reading, continuous prayer and Christian accountability are so important. Bible reading informs my mind with the revealed mind of God, prayer postures my needy heart before a powerful God, and Christian accountability makes the burden shared and the need taken seriously.

I want to be wise. I want to build my house as an altar to the Lord. I don't want to tear it down, wounding the people within, so I must commit myself to the hard and humbling work of submitting my will and plans before the Lord and allowing Him to change them, for my good and His glory.

Kid knitting - Gathering Stripes

When I showed Noah a bunch of patterns that I'd be willing to make for him and he chose this one, I groaned. A whole sweater in tiny little sock yarn? That'll take forever! Or not, as it happens...

 Though not my particular color choices, the Cascade Sock Yarn was wonderful to work with, and the whole thing was fun to make. I love top-down construction. Plus, this yarn is super comfy, not at all itchy and has a great drape to it. This might be one he actually gets some wear out of (though not for a couple more months, anyway).

I've noticed that there is an adult version. Hmmm...I might just be up for a whole lot of sock yarn knitting...

Baking Day

For baking day this week, the girls made Double Treat Cookies together. The cookies are mega-messy, but mega-yummy. Try them out yourself, but get the kids to do the mixing...

 Double Treat Cookies

Ingredients:

2 cups white sugar

1.5 cups brown sugar

2 cups shortening

2 cups peanut butter

4 eggs

3 cups flour

6 cups oats

2 tsp vanilla

1 tsp salt

 4 tsp baking soda

2 cups chocolate chips

Have your kids mix it all together by hand (Abi says be sure to do it really well). Gotta be with the hands - don't cheat with a spoon or mixer! Form into small balls and bake at 400F for 10 min.

They're worth the mess, truly.

Sometimes...

...my kids drive me up a wall. Truly. I can be baffled by how petty, spiteful and downright mean they can be to each other, or how difficult and stroppy they can be with their dad and I. I shouldn't be surprised, of course - the same sin that's in me is in their hearts as well, but still...
It's about this time that I realize that I need to focus on and be thankful for the grace I do see in their lives - the kindnesses, the opportunities they've taken to serve someone other than themselves, or the growths in godliness. Because it is there, really - I just need the eyes to see and celebrate...

• Anna and Ellie caring for Noah when he fell off his bike
• Abi putting away Ellie's clean clothes
• Noah offering to help with chores
• Abi helping Anna with her piano music
• All being quick to hug and play with Dan
• Anna changing a dirty diaper
• Abi helping Ellie in the shower
• Ellie cheerfully doing her chores.

Most of these things are little things and don't always happen regularly, but they help remind me that God is at work in their lives and things aren't as bad as I am tempted to think on the rough days.

How has your child unexpectedly blessed you this week?

Baby Knitting - Wyatt

The photos are pretty lousy (dark room + iPhone camera, you know), but the sweater itself is lovely. I am so gonna love snuggling my new little babe in this!

The pattern is well worth the investment, as I foresee making a few more of these for the other kids and even gifts, since it's truly a unisex pattern. I like the detail of the "stripes" without it being too busy and too...much. The nice surprise is the pattern called for 2 skeins of Malabrigo, which I duly purchased, but as it turns out, I only needed the one. Extra yarn!

I've now cast on for another In Threes with this same yarn. There are going to be some brightly-colored, toasty warm babies this autumn!

Keepers of the Home

A couple weeks ago, our girls celebrated the end of the year for their Keepers at Home group. For those who have never heard of this group, Keepers at Home is very similar to Girl Scouts or Girl Guides, but with a very specific Christian element. They learn skills and participate in service opportunities, but also have the chance to grow in Bible reading and memorization. Each meeting (our group meets monthly) has a focus for learning (baking, first aid, etc) but also is tied into a Bible Study - looking into God's Word is a priority.

So, the planning committee thought it would be appropriate to celebrate all the girls had done and accomplished this past year by hosting an awards banquet, as well as showing off some what they learned through various displays.

Some of the topics covered this year included health and fitness...

 ...cookie baking (which most of the dads particularly appreciated)...

 ...and camping (which was sooo cold!).

All the girls had sashes with pins or bracelets with charms for their accomplishments. Dads presented their daughters with their sashes/bracelets and took a moment to commend their girls on their accomplishments and growth. It was such a special night for these girls to be honored by the men in their lives for their efforts!

I'm already looking forward to what we're going to do next year and seeing all the ways my girls will grow in ability and godliness over the coming year!

Link Love

Responding to Video Games - I'm not a fan of video games, and am thus reminded why

Don't Wait Until They're Teenagers - So needing to heed these words now...

Kevin DeYoung and Discipline - The difference between training for Christlikeness and training for my comfort and ease are crucial.

Navigating the Homeschool Community - Why homeschooling shouldn't be another "one size fits all" approach.

Why Speaking Well Makes a Difference - Saw this at a public speaking event a while back and love, love, loved it.

Sparkly Flats

I never thought I'd see the day, but it's here - I used Mod Podge and glitter together and I actually enjoyed it!

 Using this tutorial as a reference, Abigail and I pulled out a pair of our most scuffed and sad looking shoes and gave them a makeover. It was easy, not very messy and though Abi's shoes came out better than mine, they both look much better than they used to.

I suppose the days of me being able to glare, squinty-eyed, at a "crafty" mom with the accusation "I'll bet you have glitter in your house, don't you?" are over. Perhaps I have crossed over to the dark side, but it's not so bad. Abi did look at me sideways and question my true identity, but it was worth it for the smiles I got when we were done.

5 Great Recipes You've Gotta Try

Some of my favorite recipes I got online. Here are a few:

Fresh Basil and Garlic Chive Lasagna  Not only is this the best lasagna our family has enjoyed, it's also one of the easiest to make, which means we enjoy it more.
Balsamic Chicken, Spinach and Tomato Pasta Salad  Of course, I'd eat almost anything that was covered in balsamic vinegar, but this is seriously yummy, with the seriously good benefit of getting some dark greens into the diet. Plus, the whole "cooking a meal that doesn't turn your kitchen into an inferno in the summer" benefit is hard to pass up.
Creamy Cajun Chicken Pasta  This is really quick to put together, really easy, and the kids like it. All good. You'll need the recipe for the cajun seasoning, which you can find here.
Fresh Strawberry Yogurt Cake  I know I mentioned this one a few weeks ago, but it definitely bears another mention. The strawberry season is almost over, and I don't think there is a better way to use up the rest of the season's fruit than by making a few of these cakes and enjoying them through the rest of the year. It's worth a mention that you can easily substitute sour cream for the yogurt. No one will know and it will be delicious.
Sweet and Sour Chicken  We've made this before and it won't be long before we make it again. Great use of those large packs of chicken breasts - it fed our family of 7 hungry eaters more than 2 whole meals (served with rice or tortillas).

Have a favorite recipe to share? Link up in the comments!

Getting in the Boat

While on our recent trip to Deep Creek, we had the opportunity to go canoeing. We don't do it often, though we have a canoe and have always enjoyed it, and I am so glad we had the chance to go this time. I learned more than I had anticipated.
For the first time, we split the family up between 2 canoes: Toby, Abi, Ellie and Dan in one canoe (Team A) and Noah, Anna and I were Team B in the second canoe. Neither Anna or Noah had ever used a paddle before, and I am rather inexperienced, particularly when it comes to the job of steering the boat. We crashed into a few things and got turned around a few times (though not upside down, mercifully!), but everyone had so much fun! I realized that this is my favorite family activity, and Toby and I recalled one of our very favorite dates - the 2 of us canoed at Eden Mill at dusk, with a delicious picnic dinner, and enjoyed watching the bats fly overhead and a beaver swim by.
This trip also brought to mind the last session of our premarital counselling, something about how marriage is like a boat. We don't remember much of where that analogy went, but here are some things God showed me during our canoe trip about family relationships and boating.

1. No one does this right at first, but there is opportunity to improve and grow. At first, the kids and I bumped into a fair number of things, but less so by the end of our trip. After getting some steering tips from one more experienced than I (i.e. Toby), I was better able to steer my craft and enjoy the trip. It made me think about how necessary it is, whatever new thing we are embarking upon, to ask for help when we don't know what we are doing. In the early years of marriage and at each new stage of family life, don't expect to know how to do "this" perfectly. Ask for help, keep doing your best, and cry out to God for grace and wisdom. As Christians, we live in a community of believers that we can go to for help and encouragement - why not make use of such a rich resource?
2. Everyone has a role to play and each role is important. The first time Toby and I ever took our canoe out, I somehow ended up spending some time in the back (stern). I can't remember if it was my idea or his (probably mine), but I do remember it was hard work. And I learned - not all jobs are created equal. It may not be a popular idea in our egalitarian culture, but there are responsibilities in marriage and family life that God calls and equips men to do, and those He ordains for women to do. Neither is of less importance than the other or more meaningful - each job is not only critical, but when the right person is doing their job, it leads to greater success and enjoyment for all in the boat. Now, for you non-boaters, a quick overview: in a boat, the guys in the stern leads and steers the boat, but he depends on the bow man to keep a keen eye out for dangers and possible interruptions in the water. Both jobs are work. If I behaved like someone just along for the ride when in the bow, we'd be in the reeds more often than not. If I tried to take over and steer the boat, I'd be fighting the rightful leader in the back and struggling to do a decent job - the rudder is always in the rear! Basically, when each of us does our job, we do a better job of staying on course and enjoying the trip.
3. Spend some time on your knees. We learned from a good canoeing book that it can be very helpful to paddle down on one or both knees, especially when you need to dig in hard to navigate through a rough spot. I suspect we would all do well to spend more time on our knees before our King as well, especially when we need grace and wisdom to navigate our own difficult waters.