On Breastfeeding

I have been able to nurse all five of my babies for at least a year each, am fully intending on nursing this next one, and feel very blessed and grateful to do so. Many women that I've met either found that they were not able to nurse due to any number of problems, whether it's baby's allergies, being on medication, infections, problems with milk production, or one of the other myriad of things that can make nursing difficult or even impossible.  I have had no such trouble thus far, and have been so grateful that not only have I been able to nurse for as long as I have, but have even had the opportunity to donate milk to a milk bank. It was not, however, something I'd always planned or even wanted to do.
I remember before my first was born thinking it's a rather odd thing - sticking a body part in a baby's mouth to provide life-giving nourishment. Weirdness. I was, however, sold on the idea that God designed my body to do just that, that it really is the best option for my child, and the most frugal option for me (I am cheap, I must say.). So, I guess I could say that breastfeeding, for me, was an opportunity to respond in faith.
It took roughly a month to get the hang of it. A month of being sore, dreading the cry of this hungry infant, knowing there would be at least 30-45 minutes of stinging pain, sitting there crying while trying not to resent my child for "doing this to me". A month of calling the midwives to check that I was doing it right...a month of learning:

• It hurts, and anyone who says different is selling something. I suppose, theoretically, it's possible that for some women, it does not hurt, but everyone that I've come across, whether their first child or tenth, breastfeeding hurts a bit in the beginning. And that's normal.
• The encouragement of people who cared about me mattered, especially my husband. He would rub my back, pass me a tissue and tell me how beautiful it was. I remember feeling like I didn't much care how it looked, but having him tell me how proud he was of me and encouraging me made such a difference - I might not have kept going without it.
• Nipple shields were/are, for me, a godsend. I have used them for everyone of my children, and they have proved invaluable. I know some people are very anti-shield, but they allowed me to heal while continuing to nurse, which meant that I didn't give up. It made such a big difference - I continue to be grateful for the friend who first told me about them!

I am also grateful for a few other things - people who encourage new moms, lactation consultants who go the extra mile, the many different styles of nursing clothes and covers that mean you can nurse where you need to without disrobing in public, and even the options and flexibility that formula brings. It wasn't too long ago that if you couldn't nurse, your options were either find a wet nurse or your child would die. Few, if any, in our culture now face that decision.
A friend once told me how she felt judged because though she had tried to nurse her children, she was unable to do so and had to switch to formula. She felt the need to defend her decision or explain herself, somehow. It broke my heart to hear this, partly because I knew how much she wanted to nurse and the hoops she jumped through to try, and partly because I knew I have been guilty of judging others in a similar way. Fortunately, she gave me the opportunity to see my own sin and confess that judgemental attitude. I was humbled and grateful for how her humility served to show me my own pride.
If you're a mom who's struggling with nursing, I'd encourage you not to give up. Call a friend who's been there, call the lactation consultant, send someone to buy some nipple shields for you. Drink lots to help your production, and drink warm drinks to encourage your let-down reflex. Be prepared to learn with your baby - this is the first time he or she has done this, too. But if it's not happening, if your baby is losing too much weight, remember - you have not failed as a mother if you switch to formula. Nursing for 12 months doesn't make a good mother - loving, caring for, training, and lifting up your child to the Lord in prayer makes you a good mother.

Today:

• I woke to my favorite breakfast in bed - bacon, egg & cheese on an everything bagel
• my children did their chores and helped each other
• I watched them draw pictures, build Lego creations, play games together
• there was a harvest of cucumbers and tomatoes
• Abi mended a hole in Daddy's shirt on the sewing machine
• the girls picked up and worked on their knitting projects of their own accord
• the nappers sat attentively while I read some stories and are now quietly sleeping
• time has already been spent in the swimming pool, and more swimming is anticipated
• more school prep has been accomplished - and the laminator has been used!
• there has been bickering and consoling, conspiring and playing

This is not the end of our day, but it's so nice to periodically lift my head, look at what God has done and continues to do in our family, and say thanks. He truly has been good to me.

So, in the getting ready for baby Caleb to arrive, I noticed that some of the burp cloths/muslins we already have are beginning to look a little...well...ratty. Holes, frayed edges, stains. You know, used by five other children before.

It just so happened that I have a scrap basket that's kind of overflowing, and a Pinterest board with lots of cute ideas, so I introduced the two:

 I basically sketched a rough hourglass shape, cut out a top material, a backing material and something somewhat absorbent for in the middle (quilt batting or t-shirt material) and used my serger to put all the layers together. It was pretty easy, but I did learn that my serger doesn't cope well with deep curves - it would often miss sewing the narrow curve because I tried to turn it too sharply. It worked much better when I made the curve more gentle and long.
You know what I mean, right? Sure, clear as mud...

Anyway, the babe now has a collection of at least a half dozen of these stylish burp cloths, and he'll probably get some more as I go through my scrap basket (or if he goes through the cloths faster than I can wash them...). It's also great for my pregnancy brain and limited time to have such a simple and quickly-completable project to pick up at time allows. Suits where I'm at so very well.

Link Love

• Best. Birthday Idea. Ever.
• Every kitchen is a battle ground.
• Parenting the HIV+ child - things everyone needs to know.
• Parenting the anxious child
• The thing about grace...

Picture Books of Legacy

Sometimes our trips to the library or bookstore can be exercises in frustration. It can often seem that anyone that can  hold a pen can get a children's book published, or it's all about cartoon franchising. There are, however, still children's books out there that are lovely - beautiful or interesting artwork, with a worthwhile and thoughtfully told story. We've recently hit upon a few that were particularly pleasant because they told stories of older generations in a way that was charming, humble and totally without disrespect or making adults seem stupid. Here are some of our favorites:
A Time to Keep by Tasha Tudor - "What was it like when Mummy was me?" This is more of a book of the rhythms of the year than of particular holidays, and makes me wish I lived back then. The artwork of Tasha Tudor is delightful, making you content to study each page long enough that your child will get impatient with you.

My Mother's Pearls by Catherine Fruisen - A chance grab from the library, this sweet story follows the connection that an heirloom string of pearls brings to seven generations of women. I so remember looking at my mom's jewelry and wondering who else wore it and the story behind it!

Grandpa Green by Lane Smith - Just the idea that a rich life, well-lived but poorly remembered, as the years wear on, can still be celebrated by a young boy is so touching. The fact that it's done through a common love of gardening is even better.

Miss Bridie Chose a Shovel by Leslie Connor - Following the life of a typical young woman as she sets off on her own is interesting enough, but to see the part that an insignificant choice played - the choice of a shovel over a figurine or candlesticks - gives a wonderful platform on which to see how life was once lived.

The Keeping Quilt by Patricia Polacco - One more "heirloom" book - it seems having a thing that ties us to the past can also tell a good story. This time, it's a quilt, one that tells the story of a family over the generations and how they adapted to make a home in a new country.

What are some other "legacy" picture books you've stumbled across?

Getting to know my boy

On Saturday, Toby took Noah to a soccer game - not just any game, mind you, but Toby's team, Liverpool! They were playing another English club - Tottenham Hot Spurs - in Baltimore, and Toby thought it would be a great chance to spend some quality time with his oldest boy. And it would have been, except...
As they climbed the stairs to their seats, Toby became aware of three things:

1. It was hot. Really hot. And there was absolutely no shade, anywhere. But much worse...
2. They were high up. Really high.
3. Noah was no longer at his side. No, he was about 20 ft behind him, white knuckling the stairs' handrail. It would seem that Noah is afraid of heights.

We didn't realize any of these little facts before the boys set off on their adventure.
Being hot is uncomfortable, but like most people, Gayners can endure a little discomfort if the payoff is worth it. They had their baseball hats on, so their heads were protected, but Toby got red on his knees and neck, and the sweat ring on the Liverpool cap Noah was wearing has made the hat permanently his own.
The big problem was the height. Toby has no particular problem with heights, and it never occurred to any of us that Noah was any different. I'm the one with height issues - the kids (Noah included) look over a banister and I walk away; we step into a glass elevator and I'm looking real hard at those numbers; I even went bungee-jumping in the hope that it would help me get over my fears (it didn't). As it turns out, I am not alone. Almost as soon as they sat down, Noah was asking to leave. Toby said he was hanging onto the chair arms for grim death, and never really properly relaxed enough to enjoy the game. In the end, they left at half time, much to Noah's relief.
I felt so sorry for them. Toby had been so looking forward to sharing something he loves with his boy, and Noah totally hero-worships his daddy and would have followed him anywhere. I can totally understand Noah's fear, since it's so much like my own. Plus, who likes sitting in the baking hot sun, sweating like crazy? And yet, there is so much good to see in the situation. Noah endured the whole first half, doing his best to control himself, when some adults might have been wigging out in similar circumstances. I credit it mostly to his love for his father - Noah's desire to be with Dad and please him enabled him to put up with more than he would normally have done. And Toby's love for his son enabled him to put the financial investment (which was significant) and his own desire to see the match aside and put his boy's pleasure and comfort first.
And now we've learned something new about Noah. It was such a reminder that though we think we know these kids, there are still things to learn about them. They are their own people, with their own idiosyncrasies and foibles, and we need to see them that way and love them that way. And by God's grace, we get to spend the rest of our lives getting to know these amazing people, humbled that we've been allowed the privilege of doing life with them. That should be a helpful reminder the next time one of them covers the bathroom in shampoo...

Getting It Together - In Progress

Looking around, I realize that while I have gotten quite a bit done in terms of getting things organized, most of my projects are still incomplete, to one degree or another. So here are a few of the organizing projects that are still in progress:

• I've been clearing out and re-ordering my sewing room. That's a mammoth task that can only be taken on a little at a time, much like eating the proverbial whale. I'd like to hang something(s) to pretty up the bare walls, but I haven't seen anything that has really grabbed me yet. I suspect I'll be turning to etsy, soon.
• I've commissioned my very talented husband to build me a command center/mini office in a small corner of the dining room. I'm thinking something like this or this or maybe this. We'll see what he comes up with. I have no doubt that it will be excellent.
• I'm sorting out how best to keep the kids' craft supplies. I've moved a lockable cupboard into the school room, and all the games are in the open top-half. The bottom half is lockable, which I'm thinking will be a help in keeping little Dan-hands out of mischief, but I'm not sure if it will all fit. I'm also considering making some space in my sewing room closet for some stuff...Very much a "we'll see" project.
• I'm almost finished getting the boys' room organized to make room for the newbie. I bought 3 new boxes from IKEA initially intended to house the baby clothes under the changing table. Right now, they are keeping all the diapers neat and in order. I might buy more or fancy up some cardboard boxes.

So, that's it. Hopefully you've been inspired and assisted in your own organizing adventure, but if there's some idea you were hoping for that I didn't mention, please ask. I may not know the answer - I'm no organizing guru, you know - but I can sure give it a try!

Getting It Together - The Planner

 In organizing the school materials, I realized that I was going to need new school planner. In previous years I've used the Well Planned Day, and been very happy. It's pretty, easy to use and allows for planning up to four students at a time. This year, though, I wanted to try something different. I didn't think I'd have enough room to record each day's assignments in the space provided without a complex code system that I would most likely not remember. I'm also the sort of person who simply needs to change things up once in a while. I spent some time checking out different ideas online, fully expecting to have to design something myself, until I stumbled upon the Life as Mom blog. She very helpfully has designed an ebook planner that is right up my alley, complete with a vision-casting and homeschooling section. She also has a post about a great way to bind and organize your planner. So, so good - I had to give it a try.

After buying the ebook and printing out the necessary pages, I followed her advice and had some of the pages I would use a lot laminated, bought some wet erase labels (like the Expo Vis-a-Vis markers), and had it all spiral bound within a pretty pocket folder. So happy!

I laminated pages like the daily to-do list, the meal planning, and the weekly lesson plans. My view for the school section is to have each student's weekly plans made a month or two in advance for record keeping purposes, give them to each child for the week they need so they know what they're supposed to be doing, and use the master copy to fill in my week's plans. That way I can keep my personal records up to date without over-filling my planner with paper. Clear as mud? I thought so.
I'm still working on getting it ready and usable for the coming academic year. I work on it a little at a time, because at the moment I still have time for that. We'll see how long my timing holds...
Anyone else have an excellent planning method for homeschool and/or life beyond? Please share!

Getting It Together - The School Supplies

Many homeschoolers are spending some time (or a lot of time) this summer getting their school room/supplies set in order for the new academic year. Expecting a new baby right at the beginning of the school year, with the added bonus of schooling for three and pre-K for two has meant that this subject is of particular interest to me.

In previous years, we have homeschooled in our dining room, with most of the kids doing their seat work at the dining table and the reading work in the living room. We kept their school books on a couple of IKEA Billy Bookcases tucked into the corners of the dining room.

Earlier this summer, however, I decided to try out moving our school room out of the dining room and into the guest room/study. Formerly the master bedroom, it's one of the biggest rooms in the house, with plenty of lighting and it's own bathroom. It also has some bookshelves, a pull out couch and our family computer. Now that I've moved the school stuff down there, this is what it's looking like:

(Apologies for the blurry photos - Abi had a go at being photographer with my camera phone!)

On the back of the bathroom door hangs a shoe caddy that I've filled with all the little bits and pieces that formerly cluttered up some valuable bookshelf space. Flashcards, coloring pencils, scissors, tape, etc - everything can be clearly seen and easily returned to its place, with the added benefit of being able to put non-toddler items up and out of reach, while still being available to the children who actually need them.

Next to that door is one of the Billy bookcases I moved downstairs. It contains all of the kids' books for next year, plus what we are currently doing for summer school. In previous years, we've organized the shelves by student: all Abi's stuff on one shelf, all Anna's on another, etc. This year, since the girls are sharing a number of items, I've decided to organize by subject, so history is on the bottom shelf, math on another, etc. I'm not sure how well this will work - the kids tend to look for reasons to fight, and getting in each other's way to get their school books is a prime bicker opportunity - but I've noticed when they keep their books in their desks, things get damaged, either by sheer messiness or a certain little destruct-o child. Papers also tended to get lost or damaged when I made boxes for each of them - I thought, one year, that if all their stuff were in their own box, they could pull out their box and get to work. Eh, not so much. Evidently, it was just too much effort to take that pesky lid off the box to put their stuff away...

Our family has been very blessed to live in a house that is quite a bit bigger than we need, and I realize that many families do not have the luxury of a separate school room. Back in the day, when this room had other purposes, we were doing our work in the dining room. Sometimes the investment of a small bookshelf is needed, complete with nice-looking baskets so that the school-look doesn't overwhelm the dining decor. Maybe keeping each kid's supplies in their own under bed box is required if there's no room in the dining/kitchen area, especially if the box is secured against toddler hands. The important thing to remember is that it doesn't have to be perfect, as long as it works for "right now". Sometimes we might need to try a thing for a few weeks and then make some needed changes, and that's okay. It doesn't need to be first time perfect, and it doesn't need to look like everyone else's system - it needs to work for you and your family.

Since I'm still in the process with this one, I'd love to hear some other ideas that have worked for other homeschool families - what do you do with all those books and papers and supplies??

Getting It Together - the Linen Closet

Up until very recently, we've never had a linen closet. All the bed linens lived on the closet shelves in the various bedrooms, which worked...sort of. Everything had a home, but it was messy and hard to reach and I'm the only one who could put things away or get them out.
We had this closet downstairs that had once been used as a games closet, but once the games moved to another location, the closet was suffering from a distinct lack of purpose...until I saw this:

I was inspired. I love the way ordered, contained stuff looks, especially when I've never seen the stuff in question (in this case, sheets) look ordered and contained.
While mine is not yet labelled or color-coded or stored in matching baskets (though I will do that someday!), what I've got works for us:

On the top shelf are extra pillows (it seems that I could do with replacing some of those...), followed by duvet covers in the pink basket, pillow cases in the brown box, and a couple of extra blankets on the next shelf. Below them are the flat sheets, boys' on the left and girls' on the right, and the fitted sheets are on the bottom shelf. All the sheets are currently stored in underbed boxes, since that's what I had on hand. In fact, everything in there is what I happened to have. I'd love to go and get some nice-looking, color-coordinated containers, but at the moment, frugality and the desire to shop without my children wins out over looks. The whole point of this exercise, for me, is to be able to find my stuff and keep it tidy, and this meets that need for now.
Who else has some top tips on how to keep their linen closet neat and tidy? Inquiring minds want to know!