Calling the shots

I was in Panera a little while ago, sitting quietly with my thoughts and a latte. Within five minutes of sitting down, I notice two different families with toddlers/two-year olds, and these little kids were totally owning their parents.
One little girl was wandering all over the joint (with mom trailing behind), pulling out coffee stirrers and playing in the cutlery holders, and the other was protesting the notion of leaving, while her parents were trying to convince her of the plethora of joys that exist at home. What caught my attention was not the kids so much as it was their parents - they weren't parenting, they were negotiating.
I was grabbed by the scenarios that were playing out before me, mainly because I am realizing that I am often guilty of the same "parenting" style, which isn't really parenting at all. Cleaning up their messes is needful (kids are super messy, at least mine are) and I am all about trying to leave a public place without them totally losing their rag, but the more children I have and the older they get, the more I see that this isn't enough.  I daily face the temptation to reason with an unreasonable child, or simply fix what they've wrecked because it's easier than teaching and correcting and dealing with the fallout. In some ways, it can just be easier to let our kids call the shots and adapt. But here's what I'm learning:

1. God has made us the parents, and given us the job of raising and training them. If they have a problem with that (and at times, they will), their beef is with God, not us.
2. We don't (or shouldn't) train and correct them to make our own lives easier - that's a happy consequence of a well-trained child. We (should) train them to know and love God and to serve Him joyfully. It's about His glory, not ours.
3. One day, Lord willing, our children will no longer be little ones under our direction and care, but adults that need to interact with the world around them. Are we preparing them for that day, or just trying to survive with our nerves intact until bedtime? Are we creating a culture where they are used to getting their own way? If so, they're going to be in for a terrible shock when they realize the rest of the world is not geared for their preference, nor impressed by their tantrums.
4. We are all, newborn to centenarian, made to worship. We will worship something. Our actions, words and attitudes reveal what we worship, and when our children make a career out of getting their own way and our career is to stay out of that way, we are only confirming what is already in their hearts - that the cult of "Self" is worthy of worship. As parents, it is our God-ordained responsibility to redirect our children's hearts to the only One worthy of our worship. We do that by reminding them of the Word, by teaching compassion and consideration of others, and insisting on obedience as God Himself does (Eph 6:1).

We are not parenting for ourselves, but for our Lord.  We need not apologize for the boundaries we must place around our children, but explain them. We don't insist on obedience because we're something special, but because God's promises are worth it. So, parents, let's not apologize for calling the shots, but stand firm in the Lord and hang onto His promises

Make Your Own

I like convenience cooking, I admit it. It's not so much that I don't like chopping and whisking - quite the contrary - but sometimes I'm tired, hungry and out of time (actually, I'd say that's probably accurate most of the time). I do not, however, like to pay money for substandard ingredients, especially when I can make my own (insert food here) cheaper and better than the store's version.
So, for any other convenience-but-conscience-stricken cooks out there, here are a few suggestions for some good make-your-own box mixes:

• Better Than Bisquick Drop Biscuits 
• Pancakes
• Waffles
• Brownies
• Vanilla Pudding Mix (vital for Amish Friendship Bread)
• Cake in a Box

In each case, it's pretty much a matter of mixing up the dry ingredients, sticking them in a labelled Ziploc bag with the wet ingredients you'll need written on the front, and storing them in the freezer until you need them (freezer storage keeps longer and protects from critters).
I've even managed to have my girls make some goodies by handing them the bag and having them follow the instructions. I'm all about making it easy for my kids to cook!
Once you try these, I dare you to look around your kitchen and see what you can do some advance prep for - I wouldn't have even thought about the pudding mix except for the fact that I was in the middle of making the Amish Friendship Bread and didn't have the boxed stuff to hand.
"Necessity is the mother of Invention", right?

Right now...

• My girls are making cookies. All by themselves.  They look great.
• Daniel is on day one of potty training. So far, he's peed a few times on the potty, twice on the floor and once down the vent in his bedroom. Lord, help me...
• I'm reading a book that's making me want to get rid of most of my clothes and eat better. Kind of.
• Toby preached on Sunday, and of course, did an excellent job. One of the nicest things I can say about my husband's preaching is that I enjoy sitting under it. How often does a wife say that?! If you want to hear, visit here - he preached on "Jesus, the Great High Priest".
• Dan had a great birthday last week. We had dinner at Chick-Fil-A and the kids played in the play place, then we came home for cake. He was so cute - he got so excited about his "3" cake! I didn't tell him how easy it was - bundt cake cut roughly in half and "arranged", iced and covered in m&ms - because he wouldn't have cared.

• Speaking of cake, Toby made this one a couple times recently. It is so good, you must try it. Besides, there's something exciting about making a cake in a cast iron skillet.
• I'm going to my very first ever book club this evening. I'm very excited, which makes me sound kind of geeky, but I don't care - if "geeky" means hanging out with cool people talking about books and eating baked goods, then that's a label I'm happy to wear.

I am Motivated

Everyone has their own way of planning their day, scheduling their responsibilities and basically just getting stuff done.  Some methods work better than others - when I was in high school and college, I could do my laundry and reorganize my room at 2am, if the fancy grabbed me.  Now? Not so much. When you have a family to care for, the work load increases, your capacity to receive help (should) increase, but the head space to keep on top of everything tends to decrease.  Call it age, call it baby-brain or whatever you will, the mom-brain could do with a little help.
While coffee is a dear friend, the Motivated Moms app has been a great tool for keeping the house in order, the kids directed and my blood pressure normal.  This is essentially an all year-round household chores list.  It's got almost all of the normal chores you'd need to do pre-programmed and breaks it down into easy, daily chunks. It's customizable as well, so you can add on your own, unique jobs. MoMo allows you to categorize the jobs by room or by the person responsible for getting it done, and even has a built-in daily Bible reading feature.
We've been using this app for a couple months now, and it's been great.  The kids like checking off their jobs as they complete them, Irregular jobs are getting done more regularly, and I rarely feel overwhelmed by all there is to do because it'll get done eventually and there's no worry I'll forget. I've even cleaned our A/C filter!
As an app, the cost is more than I would usually pay, but it's been so worth it.  They've got a great 2-week free trial - a "try before you buy", if you will - that definitely hooked me.
If one of your resolutions for the new year was to get organized or you wanted to give up disorder and chaos for Lent, the MoMo app might help. It won't keep you kids from climbing the wall, though - if anyone finds that app, please let me know!

3

How is is possible that in 3 short years, this...

 

...has grown into this?

 

My son, the one I call "full time". He's marvelous and funny and infuriating and fast and messy and loud and affectionate and I can't imagine life without him.

Happy Birthday, Dan-Dan.

For the boys

A new car seat cover, in decidedly masculine colors...

...is in the shop.

Baby photos...

 ...because I haven't posted photos in a while, and because he's beautiful and I love him.

 

A testimony to my OCD tendancies

A few months ago, Toby and I were discussing the numerous commitments we have, coupled with the needs of our home and family and the desire for occasional downtime, and were wondering how we were going to give each thing its proper attention. As it happens, I have a schedule for our school day (you may have seen it), including a certain fun thing that we'd do together for each week day, like movies on Wednesday or crafts on Friday. I had an idea that we might employ a similar theme to each evening of the week, based more on what we need to do with our time, rather than fun activities (although some of them are fun!). What does that look like for us?

• Monday is Reading night. We sit down with our books and enjoy some peace and quiet.
• Tuesday is Hospitality night. This is the night we tend to schedule for getting together with others, whether we're hosting or acting as guests. When you wonder why we always invite you over on a Tuesday, this is why.
• Wednesday is our Project night. This is when Toby attends to those fix-it jobs, prepares for Care Group, or works on one of the many jobs I've got planned for him. I'll either work on one of my own projects (of which there are legion) or help him out a little. Stuff is getting done.
• Thursday is Care Group. There is usually something going on for Care Group every week, whether the main meeting or growth groups. Makes for easy planning.
• Friday night is Date Night. We'd never been very good about this, and it's been so nice to be doing things together a bit more. Sometimes we go out, sometimes we stay in and play games or watch a movie, but we're spending time together. It's good time.
• Saturday night is Family night. Usually that means a meal of finger foods in front of a film, and that has yet to get old. One week we did take the kids over to the pool at the local Y, which was both fun and tiring.
• Sunday is our Planning night. We look at our calendars, talk about what's coming up and whatever actions need to be taken. We'll pray for each other and whatever is happening that week.

And that's it. Nothing major, and certainly not uber-strict. If we can't meet with folks on Tuesday, we may swap things around and have people over on Friday, and bump our date night up a little. We don't feel guilty about getting work done because we know date night or family night will happen, and likewise, projects aren't getting put off all the time, because we have some dedicated time to chip away at them.
We've been using this system as a rough guide for a couple months, and it's served us so well. It's allowed us to see how we're spending our time and where we have some margin for more/breathing room. This family is busy, but we still have all the time we need to hang out with friends, get some quality time together and get some work done.

How do you spend your evenings? How do you "get it all done"?

Fun School

Last month, I was doing my school planning when our Bible curriculum (Veritas Press) suggested doing dioramas based on one of Jesus' parables. I almost skipped it completely - I rarely do the crafty projects suggested - but I knew my girls would be so excited to do something creative, and they might even learn a little something from it. So, I pulled out a few supplies and turned them loose, hoping they would remember this the next time I did something distinctly "un-fun", like gave them a test or something...

I couldn't be happier with what they came up with!

 

Anna's diorama was about Jesus walking on water. Not a parable, but who cares? She was creative and thoughtful and even looked up the passage!

Pipe cleaners, modeling clay and a shoebox - who knew?

 Abigail went with the Parable of the Sower. Again, very creative - she went so far as to gather grass, rocks and birdseed from the backyard. Each element was carefully labelled for clarity.

I loved that they were able to do this completely independently - I wasn't allowed to look until they were finished. It's all their own work, which shows me that they are engaging with the passage, not what I'm telling them to do. Maybe they'll remember the stories better in future - I'd like to think so. Regardless, I'll definitely be more willing to try something like this in the future, knowing they'll take the assignment seriously and give it their best. That alone made it worth the effort.

Giving up

I've decided to give up.
Pinterest.
For Lent.
This will not be easy for me. It'll mean deleting the app from my phone and establishing a few new habits - like reading a book while I feed the baby, rather than browse other people's creativity.
If you see me pinning things (I'm prone to forget, you see), call me out. Please.
I noticed that whenever someone decides to practice some kind of Lenten fast or activity, they are usually assumed to be Catholic? Why? Why have Catholics cornered the market on Lent, and why do Protestants seem to look upon the season with bemusement? Any time that's set aside for thinking about the sacrifice that Christ made on our behalf and taking the opportunity to consider ways to slow down and enter into that sacrifice in some small way must be good for the soul.
If you're looking for some kind of Lenten observance for your family, here are a few ideas:
Make a tomb
Declutter
Make a calendar
Make a pattern